Grief Counseling in the UK

Grief is a different experience for everyone, and there are no right and wrong ways of dealing with it. Often the ‘cycle of loss’ is evident in someone who has experienced a loss – feelings of denial, loneliness, anger, grief, and finally, letting go. But of course, it’s not the same for everyone, and whilst some people may take weeks or months to move through the process, others may take years.

Being such a personal, unique ordeal, it’s hard to find a universal way to help those going through it. But no matter what other methods the sufferer finds comforting, there is one that is undoubtedly essential and important for everyone – talking. Botttling things up and burying feelings will only lead to more problems further down the line, and the grief will never be fully dealt with.

Often, people are reluctant to talk about their feelings. It can be particularly difficult when relating to bereavement, as it can be hard to find someone to turn to who is also not dealing with the same bereavement, and someone who can provide enough support.

Counselling, however, offers a non-judgemental, safe and relaxing environment to discuss problems and feelings out loud, with the help of a trained professional. Underlying issues can be exposed and dealt with, and grief and all its associated feelings can be released.

Counselling can also help with what happens after grief – coming to terms with how life has changed for those left behind, and how to honour the memory but not become hung up on it. Mourning can, in some cases, develop into depression, and a counsellor will be able to detect if this is happening, or prevent it.

Dealing with grief is one of the hardest experiences a person will have to go through. But there are people on hand to help, and though many people have reservations, counselling can be a hugely helping healing and cathartic process.

To find a counsellor in your area, (UK) as well as information about grief and other types of distress, go to www.counselling-directory.org.uk

Grief Workbook Coming Soon “Heal Your Pain, Releasing the Emotions of Grief & Loss

“HEAL YOUR PAIN, Releasing the emotions of Grief & Loss” – by Janet Greene & Elaine Williams – Paperback
We are very excited to announce the upcoming release of Heal Your Pain.

This Companion Handbook is the perfect gift for a grieving friend or relative, to guide them to release the overwhelming emotions as they surface (so they don’t have to carry them year after year) and as a resource to navigate the grief emotional roller coaster.

Heal Your Pain is also the perfect starting point for those who still carry the pain of a loss years or even decades ago. Until this emotional pain is released, healing and the capacity to move on is limited.

This gentle Companion Book will show you how to release the overwhelming pain that keeps reappearing at the most unexpected times, resolve and heal your emotional shocks, and prepare you to create a life beyond grief.

Availability Notification
Please email media@onwingspress.com with the topic Heal Your Pain and we will notify you.

Heal the Grieving Heart Radio Interview Now Live

To Visit the Site: Click Below
http://www.modavox.com/voiceamericacms/WebModules/HostModaview.aspx?HostId=80&ChannelId=5&Flag=1″>

Heal the Grieving Heart Radio Show Interview

To Visit the Site: Click Below
http://www.modavox.com/voiceamericacms/WebModules/HostModaview.aspx?HostId=80&ChannelId=5&Flag=1″>

Alone on Valentine’s Day

 Elaine Williams copyright 2009

According to the U.S Census Bureau, there are approximately 700,000 new widows every year. The emotional and monetary problems that affect those experiencing widowhood are staggering. This is no small problem, as 32% of women aged 55 and older live alone, according to the 2000 U.S. Census. Being alone during special days like Valentine’s Day can be incredibly painful for those who have lost a loved one. It’s often considered a special day for couples, and if you’re recently bereaved, it can be an especially difficult time to get through. One way to lessen any negative impact of this day is to plan ahead – perhaps go out to dinner with friends or a movie. Create something special for yourself. The stress of dealing with the death of a spouse makes it quite difficult to function at times. In addition to the loss of income, the widow or widower may also face debt issues and the pressure of becoming a single parent. When you lose someone you love, it is a permanent wound on the heart. Loss of any kind is never easy, but you can begin to enjoy life once more, even if it’s only one evening at a time. Be kind to yourself.

Virtual Blog Tour – Sites Related to Loss, Grief and Bereavement

Blog Tour
This list is a wonderful compilation of books, blogs, websites, services, magazine….all related in some manner to loss, grief and bereavement. This is by no means a complete list, but it is a start.

(No endorsement is made and all sites listed are for information purposes only.)

A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss by Elaine Williams, a widow’s journey through loss, grief and renewal. http://www.ajourneywelltaken.com. Blog: http://www.ajourneywelltaken.blogspot.com Midwest Book Review, 5 Stars.
#
Dave Pipitone – “The Hope Patch”, http://www.thehopepatch.com is a way to remember those who have passed on. Articles and resources for living with hope for new life.
#
Wendy L. Christensen: An inspirational letter written by Wendy at 15, to her older brother Travis who died at 17. “This letter was therapeutic for me and I have received so many emails and phone calls over it. My brother, Travis, had a huge impact on my life.” “It’s the Little Moments that Matter” contains 26 simple steps to enrich every moment of life! http://www.littlemomentsthatmatter.com/travis.html
#
Jane Galbraith’s “Baby Boomers Face Grief – Survival and Recovery”. Jane’s background is a degree in nursing and 20 years working in the community health care system. If you would like more info on the book you can find the introductory chapter and her bio etc at http://www.trafford.com/05-2319
#
Carol Ann Loehr – Website for Understanding Suicide & Depression – http://www.thegiftofkeith.org
On March 29, 1999 , our son Keith died by suicide. At the time of his death I had no knowledge of suicide, and I was inundated with inaccurate and outdated description of suicide and its causes. In 2002, I created a website of information to help comfort and educate survivors of suicide, as well as clergy, health care professionals and counselors. In 2006 I wrote a children’s book, “My Uncle Keith Died”. This book helps explain a death by suicide and the illness of depression. Available at Trafford Publishing or call Toll Free (888)232-4444; and Amazon.com.
#
Sandy Fox – “I Have No Intention of Saying Goodbye.” Sandy interviewed 25 sets of parents about the death of a child and how they have moved on with their lives. Sandy’s story is in the book also. http://www.sandyfoxauthor.comwww.survivinggrief.blogspot.com
#
Annette Gonzalez: http://www.marinasabundance.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.orphanat60.com Annette writes and speaks about feeling like an “orphan” at sixty years of age. Her father died five months after her mother. Shares her experiences as a daughter, caregiver, wife and mother.
#
The Light Beyond, Lucie Storrs – http://www.thelightbeyond.com Grief forum, inspirational movie and helpful bereavement site. “Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep” ebook of over 250 sympathy poems, quotations and readings for funerals, memorial services and inner peace. “If There’s Anything I Can Do” guide for friends and families of the bereaved.
#
Research Study on Social Relationships and Loss
A new study on social relationships and loss is being conducted by a doctoral student at The Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. You are invited to participate in this important new study investigating interpersonal relationships and how they might have affected your feelings about your loss.
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=yXh28AbGKsj9ycoMzVE7ew_3d_3d
Questions or would like the questionnaires sent to you, contact Naomi Edelson by phone at (415) 290-0164 or by email at lossresearch@gmail.com.
#
A Masters degree and 24 years of Adoption Social Work did not prepare Chris Mulligan for the devastation after the death of her son, Zac. Her grief journey, revealed through “Afterlife Agreements: A Gift From Beyond” describes in detail the mother/son relationship that continues beyond death through documented signs and communication. Healing and a new life emerged as the result of learning about life lessons, death and the afterlife. http://Afterlifebooks.com
#
Harry Line Helping Parents Deal with The Loss of Their Baby – http://the-harry-line-helpingparents.blogspot.com/
#
Fran Dorf’s acclaimed, internationally published psychological novels include A Reasonable Madness (Birch Lane, Signet, 1990/91), Flight (Dutton/Signet, 1992/93), and Saving Elijah (Putnam, 2000), which was inspired by the tragic death of Fran’s son, Michael, and which a starred Publisher’s Weekly review called, “a stunning tale that crackles with suspense, dark humor, and provocative questions.” A bereavement and creativity expert and psychotherapist, Fran holds advanced degrees in journalism, psychology, and social work. She is currently working on a book of personal essays called, “How I Lost My Bellybutton and Other Survival Stories”; and writes poetry, essays and articles on a variety of topics including bereavement. Using her unique background and experience, Fran has developed the WRITE TO HEAL WORKSHOP, which employs exercises, and fictional/interrogative techniques, some arising out of themes developed in Saving Elijah, to deepen and clarify self knowledge, stimulate the imagination, and generate meaningful story, memoir, metaphor, and/or image around loss. Fran has conducted the Workshop with a variety of groups including the bereaved, addicted, traumatized, homeless, women’s groups, those dealing with chronic or serious illness, and the mentally ill. Her essay, “My Son’s Name Was Michael – Not Elijah,” will be published in an anthology on therapeutic writing this spring. Fran is also an active philanthropist, and has a blog called THE BRUISED MUSE, an e-zine on “grief, life and everything in between” at http://www.frandorf.com/. For a workshop with your group, or for individual psychotherapy or counseling, contact Fran directly at frandorf@aol.com.
#
Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation National Conference on Widowhood, San Diego, California — July 17-19, 2009
This event will provide a variety of inspiring role models, a hope-filled, supportive environment, and programs focused on giving women the tools they need to rebuild their lives after the devastating loss of a spouse. http://www.sslf.org/conference.html
#
Sharon – Grandma is a writer – http://grandmaisawriter.blogspot.com/ Shares thoughts about writing, about life and to promote the book, “Aloha is Forever” about the loss of her son in Hawaii who went on a hike and disappeared. http://www.tnchristianpublishers.com/products

#
Tiffany – Life after his Death — Perspectives encountered from loss. http://acancerwidow.blogspot.com/
#
Christa Scalies lost her close friend Jim to suicide in 2005. Christa was on a self-destructive suicidal path but the shock of her friend’s death actually helped save her life. Experiencing the devastation of his sudden passing caused her to examine every detail of her life. Christa embarked on a path of self-healing, learning and laughing. In 2008 she created Giggle On!, a motivational and inspirational web site, to share her story and help empower people to enjoy the lighter and happier sides of life. Christa works to raise money and awareness for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. http://www.giggleon.com.
#
Crumbling Walls – a mother grieves the loss of her 18 year old son to suicide – http://crumblingwalls.wordpress.com/
#
Janine – Widow and mother of 6 Blog, One Breath at a Time – http://txmomx6.blogspot.com/
#
Carol O’Dell – Author “Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir” ISBN – 13:978-1-60164-003-1. http://www.Mothering-Mother.com – Family Advisor at http://www.caring.com/familyadvisor Blog – http://carolodell.wordpress.com
A bitingly humorous and unflinchingly honest memoir. Carol’s mother has Parkinson’s Disease, Alzheimer’s, and a heart condition and Carol’s decision not to put her mother “in one of those homes” has far-reaching consequences for her family. She must learn to Mother her own mother. This refreshing and entertaining memoir will help baby boomers struggling with their own decisions on elder care in the home.
#
Widowsbreathe Coaching: Mie Elmhirst, CPCC, PCC provides Coaching, Support and Information for Widows www.widowsbreathe.com

#
Keepsakes, Etc. features Sympathy Throws as a bereavement gift for family and friends. They will embroider personalized messages on most throws and ship nationwide. http://www.keepsakes-etc.com/sympathygift.html
#
“Room for Two” by Widower Abel Keogh – http://abelkeogh.com/room-for-two/
#
Beautiful Earthen Urns – http://spiritkeeper-urns.com/
#
Resolving Grief with Hypnosis and EFT -Carol Henderson Certified Hypnotherapist
EFT Practitioner
New Day Hypnotherapy, LLC
Kansas City Area
Carol@NewDayHypno.com
http://www.newdayhypno.com/resolving_grief_with_hypnosis_and_eft.html
#
Marsha at “Breathings of the Heart” – Marsha began the blog as an outlet of musings, writings and journaling following the loss of her husband in 2005. Today, it continues to be an extension of her journey… may you enjoy the travels with her.
http://mfisteach.blogspot.com/
#
Cathy – Lessons From Lou – http://lessonsfromlou.blogspot.com/ – Cathy’s journey through the brain tumor world with her husband, Lou.
#
Ian – Single Parent Dad – http://www.singleparentdad.blogspot.com
#
Bill- Dying Man’s Daily Journal – http://hudds53.wordpress.com/
#
The Price of Love – http://thepriceoflove.net/ – a father’s journey through breast cancer, bereavement and recovery.
#
Maureen’s Mission – http://www.maureensmission.org/thebook.php .- Breast Cancer Advocacy – One couple’s journey through misdiagnosis.
#
Lisa – Grace Between the Lines – http://bump-on-the-road.blogspot.com/ – Blog continues in memory of Annette, with a new name, Grace Between the Lines by her sister, Lisa.
#
Dr. Doris Jeanette, a holistic psychologist with 33 years of experience showing people how to find their own inner strengths, and author of” Opening the Heart”, an emotional guide into healing your grieving heart from the bottom outward. http://www.drjeanette.com
Speaker, columnist, radio host and author of Opening the Heart, Overcoming Anxiety Naturally and 14 other self help products.
#
Eric Tomei – http://www.lostdadsclub.com/ Help me raise 1 Million dollars for Habitat for Humanity. It was my Dad’s favorite charity. Please help me honor his memory and support this great organization. Author “I Miss My Dad.” Eric is an ordinary guy who wrote about her dad to deal with his grief.

#
Cindy Bullens – Recording artists and songwriter. http://www.cindybullens.com/workshop/ – “Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth: Grieving Out Loud”.

“When my daughter Jessie died on March 23, 1996, just weeks after her eleventh birthday, I felt my own life end. I couldn’t imagine that I could ever again be a productive human being. Cindy has touched thousands of people around the world with Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth’s inspired songs of despair and loss, love and hope.”

#
Betsy – author ISABELLE’S DREAM – Based on the true story of two sisters, / Isabelle’s Dream/ takes the reader on a heartwarming journey from grief to hope. The book’s black-and-white illustrations invite children to bring their own creativity to each page, using crayons, markers, colored pencils, or even glitter glue. After coloring the sisters’ shimmering wings, butterflies, gardens, the earth, and the sea, boys and girls will find several blank activity pages. These pages encourage children to create original drawings or words.

Available through Quality of Life Publishing (www.qolpublishing.com; to order call *1-877-513-0099* during regular business hours Eastern time) or via amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com.

In memory of Sophia Zartarian Nagle, author Betsy Bottino Arenella is donating 100 percent of royalties from /Isabelle’s Dream/ to the national charitable SUDC (Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood) Program (www://sudc.org ). To learn more about Sophia’s life and the birth of Isabelle’s Dream, visit www.isabellesdream.org
#
http://widowsvoice-sslf.blogspot.com/ Widow’s Voice – A place to find your own voice, to hear other widow’s voices…and to find comfort in the fact that you are not alone.

#
Grief Sites
http://www.youngwidow.com – Provides a forum for young widows and widowers to connect online, find understanding and validation of their feelings so that they are able to recover their joy for life, reclaim their identities and rebuild their futures.
#
http://indygriefloss.com/index.htm – Indianapolis Grief & Loss Consulting Services
#
http://mymeaningfullife.com/ – Finding Meaning in Grief & Loss
Ligia M. Houben, is an author, consultant and educator. She consults with individuals and corporations on life transitions with the purpose of providing meaningful tools to transform losses and challenges. She obtained her B.A. from the University of Miami in psychology and Religious Studies and a Masters Degree in religious studies and gerontology from Florida International University. Ligia also has a Graduate Certificate in Loss and Healing from St. Thomas University and is a Certified Grief Counselor, a Certified Addiction Counselor and a Certified Thanatologist: death, dying and bereavement.
#
http://www.aarp.org/families/grief_loss/ – AARP – Helpful Links for Those After Loss of a loved one.
#
http://www.bereavementmag.com/page.cfm?pageid=9009 – Hope and Healing for the Body, Mind and Spirit. Living with Loss Magazine
#
http://www.centerforloss.com/index.php – Center for Loss and Life Transition
#
http://www.compassionbooks.com/store/index.php – More than 400 books, videos, and audios to help children and adults through serious illness, death and dying, grief, bereavement, and losses of all kinds, including divorce, suicide, trauma, and violence. Reviewed and selected by knowledgeable professionals.
#
http://www.coping-with-loss-and-grief.com/index.html – Grief Counseling, Bereavement Counseling
Individuals, Families, Small Grief Counseling Groups
#
http://www.elisabethkublerross.com/index.html – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross – Grief & Bereavement
#
http://www.goodbooksnw.com/ – GoodBooksNW is an independent online bookseller specializing in books on divorce, blended families and grief.
#
http://www.goodgriefresources.com/ – Bereavement, Loss and Grief Resources
#
http://www.griefsjourney.com/index.php?&MMN_position=1:1 – Grief’s Journey, where the primary focus is on the bereavement for the loss of a spouse and life partner.
#
http://www.groww.org/Branches/gfwo.htm – GROWW For Widowed allows us to be or do whatever it takes to move forward, to know that letting go of the pain is not letting go of the memory of the love.
#
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm – Coping with Grief and Loss, Support for Grieving and Bereavement
#
http://www.missfoundation.org/index.html – M.I.S.S. Foundation, support when a child dies
#
http://atruecalling-truewonder.blogspot.com/ Truewonder lost her eldest son in 2003, little did I know that starting a blog in 2008 was the healing balm I most needed. It is a cleverly disguised blog about a sustainable farmer…as I have become just that. It started it out as farmer related stories, but my writing revealed to me that my grief, joy experiences were stories that caused many ripples in the lives of others.
#
http://www.momminusdad.com/ – Do you struggle to find resources and advice while you juggle your life with the needs of a newly widowed parent? Author Jamieson Haverkampf, gleaned intimate knowledge of balancing her own life with a newly widowed parent, having aided her fifty-six-year-old widowed mother in Virginia, while running her real estate business in California, after the early unpredicted loss of her father to cancer. “Mom Minus Dad”.
#
http://www.nmha.org/index.cfm?objectid=C7DF9618-1372-4D20-C807F41CB3E97654 – Coping With Bereavement – Mental Health America
#
http://www.onecaringplace.com/Default.asp?bhcd2=1233108612 – Publications to help you help others – One Caring Place
#
http://www.ourhouse-grief.org/services.html#opt3 – Our House, Helping Grieving Hearts Heal, Child and Adolescent Grief
#
http://www.pamblair.com – Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D., therapist and co-author of “I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One” (Sourcebooks, Inc.) as well as the companion workbook.
#
http://www.hospicenet.org/ – Hospice – For patients and families facing life-threatening illness
#
http://www.solacehouse.org/ – Solace House – A Center for Grieving Children and their Families.
##
Open to Hope Foundation and The Grief Blog at http://www.opentohope.com and http://www.thegriefblog.com – Articles, radio show and information to help those who have suffered a loss.
#
Widowslist – A blog and community where widows share problems and triumphs with lists of helpful people, companies and services. http://www.widowslist.com
#
Jenslove – http://www.jenslove.com/”> – cofounders Mark Manning and Jessica Caron. A place to celebrate those loved and lost
#
Loss, Grief and Bereavement – National Cancer Institute www.ncipoet.com/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/bereavement/Patient/page9
#
American Widow Project – http://americanwidowproject.org/index.php?link=1 – The American Widow Project is a non-profit organization dedicated to the new generation of those who have lost the heroes of yesterday, today and tomorrow, with an emphasis on healing through sharing stories, tears and laughter………Military Widow to Military Widow
#
Garden of Innocence National – Dignified burial for abandoned children http://www.gardenofinnocence.org/keegansstory.html
#
Neil Chethik – http://www.neilchethik.com/fatherloss.htm – Author “Father Loss, How Sons of All Ages Come to Terms with the Death of their Dads.”

Dealing with New Loss or Grief During the Holidays

I recall very well the first holidays, anniversaries and birthdays alone as a widow. Sometimes you want to be with others and other times you will want to be alone. It’s important not to isolate yourself, but do be kind to yourself during these stressful moments. If you need to cry, do so. If you need support, ask for it. True friends and family that love you will be there to lend support. Sometimes we’re afraid to ask for that support, but on the other side, sometimes those friends aren’t sure what to do for you, even if it’s just listening while you talk or sitting quietly with you for support.

Sorting Through Old Loss to Welcome the New Year

This is one of my more heavier posts in many months. But ultimately, it is a timely post as we get ready to welcome a new year. I always love the advance of a new year. There are so many possibilities ahead, so many avenues and opportunities for life in all of us.

For the last several months I have been working with life coach Janet Greene of Greene’s Release, through some issues that had lain dormant, unbeknownst to me, in the last five or six years. I guess some of the upwelling of emotional dramas I had been feeling this month were undealt with shocks and memories from the past. Certain events seems to bring these emotional dramas close to the surface; resulting in a feeling of being stuck in place, annoyance, resignation and even a sense of apathy and regression.

I received a small gift in the mail at the beginning of December from a well meaning person. The gift set off this chain of thoughts and unexpected feelings, stirring memories that had remained buried for many years. There’s a book out called Feelings Buried Alive Never Die and without having read that book, that would be the gist of this post today. Sometimes we feel the need to bury feelings so we can go on living day-to-day. We’re not always aware we’ve buried them. At times it feels like the easist thing we can do for ourselves is ignore pain that rips at us, just let it be and hope it will go away with time.

Well, this is five years down the road and it just so happens this month some of that buried emotion started to unbury itself and I felt like I was literally being swamped all over again, in grief. I didn’t understand what was happening and I didn’t want to even look at what was causing the problem — but I had to. So I made the decision to address what the heck was going on. I felt I had come so far in my life on my life after loss journey, and yet December I learned I hadn’t dealt with all the emotion involved with this loss.

My friend of 18 years passed away at 53 years of age the week before Christmas. Since I’d known she was sick with cancer in February of this year, I had a heavy feeling for the outcome. I wondered did I have that feeling because my husband had died from cancer also? She had endometrial cancer and it was quite advanced. The doctors gave her a variety of mixed outcomes, but in my mind I felt it was the end.

I supported her as best I could, but all the time I was peddling toward what I feared was the inevitable outcome of this disease for her. She did everything the doctors suggested, the treatments they set up for her, beginning in March. They operated, they did the chemo and the protocols. My friend grew progressively weaker. One of the many times I went to see her in the hospital — I thought I was in the wrong room. I didn’t recognize her. I am glad she was asleep and didn’t know of my instinctive move to back out of the room.

She remained cheerful and upbeat, even though she said to me several times she didn’t think she was going to make it. Immediately after the chemo treatments, which went on for months, the doctors said she was in remission. This did not make sense to me, given her weak, debilitated state. My friend wondered about that also, but continued to trust in her doctor’s care. What else could she do? She refused to have hospice, she said to her it was like giving up. I explained that my husband had been on hospice for pain control for seven months, and if they wanted to help her, let them have someone with her during the day to help her. It was a difficult situation for her, from my perspective. She was proud, independent and had always been very self-sufficient, raising 5 kids on her own. Now, she was dependent on others for her care and it remained difficult for her to accept that care, even to the point where at times I could see she pushed her family away.

In the end, her family and friends were with her in the hospital when she died. I was there the last hour also. I had driven that night, making the 3 hour round trip. I was going to wait until the next day but something inside urged me to go that night. I arrived to find her comatose, hooked up to a respirator. I could see it was pumping the oxygen into her. The only time she responded was when her son told her he was going to bring her dog in to see her. My friend had always had an incredible rapport with and love of her animals. This is the only time I saw her open her eyes when they mentioned her dog. I said my goodbye to her and told her I would miss her, and then knowing they were going to remove the life support, I left. She died as I was half way home, I later found out. I went to her funeral and it was a nice service with people getting up and speaking of my friend in honest and thoughtful ways. As I sat there the hot tears came to my eyes went down my cheeks. I pondered the loss and said the final goodbye, knowing she was somewhere in that church.

That same week my neighbor’s pregnant daughter lost her baby in childbirth. They did everything they could to save the baby boy, but his organs were failing and he had been deprived of oxygen and nutrients inutero. It was incredibly sad to think of this young couple, the week before glowing with anticipatory happiness of the impending birth. I felt sad for my neighbors, the grandparents, because they too had lost a child many years before at birth. I sometimes wonder how this all works out in each of our lives — the ripple effects it has on each of us, not only immediately but many years later. The sadness of loss is so very real and deep. But it gets deeper when we bury it within ourselves. It comes out in various ways through the years in actions and emotions — and we’re not always aware of the source of these emotions. When the emotional shock isn’t dealt with, it festers beneath the surface, an unscabbed, unhealed wound.

The little gift I received triggered something within me this month, followed by the two deaths one upon each other. The gift was a keepsake ornament given to me by someone who had a good heart but mistakenly
thought this would be of comfort to me. It was meant to hang on a tree or in your house and you insert a picture of your loved one and it says “Remember me”.

I felt this gift was out of place in my life, after five years. I had moved my life forward, the emotions looked at and dissected fully, and to have this ornament show up now stirred up the remnants of tears and emotions as yet undealt with.

I will donate the gift to someone newly bereaved, because it is not something that I need any longer. I have a small area in my house where there are pictures of my husband, myself and my kids. The loss no longer hurts but is a gentle remembrance of a life that has changed and evolved to who we are as individuals and as a family today.

I am through this month being bogged down with vague feelings of depression and fear, facing the tears inside that I’ve left uncried, the feelings that I’ve let go unacknowledged. Feeling these buried emotions, letting them speak fully to me, is a gift to myself for a new year of new beginnings. I am free of the chains of my emotional enslavement. The fears which held me are dissolved and blown away.

Janet Greene is a Life Coach who developed the Greene’s Release method. You can learn to release what’s holding you back from being truly happy and successful and living your true potential. She can be found at http://www.greenesrelease.com”>

A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss is now available in ebook

I am up and running! “A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss” is available in ebook format. You can order it from my website http://www.ajourneywelltaken.com/order.html”>  $8.95 for an instant download in pdf format, with artwork. Thanks for asking!

DeStressing the Holidays

The holiday seems full of stress, and perhaps we set ourselves up for this stress. Does everything have to be perfect, from our homes to our decorations, to the holiday baking that has to be just so? Can we cut ourselves some slack? Right now a good friend of mine teeters on the brink of dying. I’ve known since March that this day would come. Also, the newborn infant of a young couple I know passed away this week, living barely an hour. I know a man who lost his wife quite recently, so he’s suffering the loss of a spouse through this holiday season, a time when many of us may take our family and loved ones for granted. You always think they’re going to be there, but I know from my own experience life can change in the blink of an eye. Hug them, love them, be there for them. Let them know you care.

When death comes close and enters your realm, hopefully you can really see what’s important in life. And guess what, it’s not about the little stuff like the lopsided tree or the latest toy that you think your child has to have. Perhaps we simply must define in our hearts what the true meaning of these holidays is to each of us. It may be something as simple as enjoying your family and seeing what they really mean to you. Forget the presents, forget the running around crazy for the perfect gift. The love and appreciation for life starts inside each of us. I hope never to lose sight of that truth. I learned it the hard way, and I would not wish that lesson on anyone.