Comments on: Dating After Loss of a Spouse

By: ajourneywelltaken

ajourneywelltaken — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:00:54 +0000

Hi Elvy: I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for stopping by. You have the right idea. Take your time, you can find happiness and fulfillment once more, and I wish you the best. elaine

By: elvy

elvy — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 08:12:42 +0000

hi guys ,i lost my wife and child on the same day,at first i could not cope,thank god i have realised my loss,i have to move on step by step its a process.i know shes out there looking out for me to be happy,and eventually find someone to be with,i know i cant get someone to fill her shoes ,but at least someone to make me happy.imagine how she would feel me being lonely and sad .the sooner u start mixing with people just to keep yourself occupied the better,serious relationships have to be worked on over time,so take your time a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step .thanks for a good topic

By: ajourneywelltaken

ajourneywelltaken — Thu, 14 May 2009 19:40:09 +0000

Thanks for stopping by. This may be true about the pressure, but it ends up being an individual choice. Some prefer to remain single, while others would like a significant other in their lives, no matter what shape or form that relatinship takes and no matter what age they are. elaine

By: Dating Books For Men

Dating Books For Men — Thu, 14 May 2009 19:36:18 +0000

i think that there is a lot of pressure from society in general to find a mate, and for the most part we are influenced by it. but i also think living without a partner is perfectly natural. especially in the latter years of life when we are set in our ways and are less likely to want to adapt to the expectations of another. i have not dated for years, and i enjoy the solitary life now.

By: ajourneywelltaken

ajourneywelltaken — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 02:24:05 +0000

Hi Neil: I am sorry for your loss. I do understand very well that deep well of lonely emptiness. Having been married 20 years, together 23 years, I felt lost and floundering when my husband passed away.

What I can tell you is what I did. If friends invited me out for dinner or over to their house, I would go for brief periods, whatever I felt comfortable with. I had always been interested in dancing, but never took lessons. One day I decided to try it and paid for one course of lessons, once a week for a month. I had fun, indulged in something relatively inexpensive that was of interest to me, and a year later I am still dancing.

Many times there’s things to do around you, if we just take a look. It might be something as simple as coffee with a friend. Taking a class at the local college.Joining a hiking or kayaking group, if that’s what you enjoy.

I also enjoy photography and took a digital camera class. Grief sometimes makes you feel like you don’t want to leave the house, don’t want to even talk to people at times. It’s difficult for even loved ones who have not experienced this loss, to understand what you are going through. But there is a way to gradually establish a new “normal” without feeling guilty or shutting yourself away.

Take it very slow, and treat yourself to something you enjoy, even if it’s only once in a while. I would find one thing that interests you and you think you might like to do, even on a short term basis. It’s okay to be alone, but do try to get out from time to time and interact with others. There’s nothing wrong with feeling joy for a few hours, though I know sometimes you wonder how could you ever feel joy again.

Don’t force yourself to be social if you don’t feel like it, but do know there will be days when you want to interact with others. It is your call, and I wish you the very best. Elaine

By: Neil

Neil — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 02:14:08 +0000

Having just lost my wife of 25 years this past October my challenge is dealing with the combination of overwhelming grief and deep loneliness. While I am fully embracing my grief. I am struggling with loneliness. I am certainly not interested in dating/relationships but would welcome ideas as to how I can combat loneliness.

By: ajourneywelltaken

ajourneywelltaken — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 01:05:59 +0000

Thank you for stopping by, and thanks for placing my article on your site. elaine

By: Rural Dating

Rural Dating — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 00:19:02 +0000

Thanks for sharing your story, I have copied your post into my forum of my dating site, as we have a few people who lost partners and are not sure if they are ready to start again yet.

Not something anyone can really write about unless they have lived through it. I am sorry for your loss but glad to hear you were able to move on.

By: Love in Your Later Years: 100 Sex and Dating Tips for Seniors | Senior Communities Blog

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:03:16 +0000

[...] Dating After Loss of a Spouse: Read Elaine Williams’ blog entry about grieving for a spouse and understanding when you’re ready to move on. [...]

By: ajourneywelltaken

ajourneywelltaken — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:53:09 +0000

Thanks for stopping by. At least we resume life and there develops a new kind of normal, but I know we never forget. You can’t forget or be expected to forget someone who was part of your life in such an integral way.